Funny 'Facts' About Artists

I find the simplest things often indicate a lot about an artist and their work.  For example, consider the coffee drinking preferences of these artists...

Marc Rothko

I take mine black.  Very, very black.  The deepest darkest black you can manage. 

And quite bitter too.

 

Vincent Van Gogh

A coffee?  Not for me thanks – I’ve already got one ‘ere.

 

Damien Hirst

Yes mate – make me two hundred of them – line them up over there.  Right ladies and gentlemen, 

who will start the bidding for this first cup…

 

Jackson Pollock

Sure – I’ll have some coffee in my scotch.  Careful now – dammit you’ve spilt it all over the floor!!  Hmmmm….that’s looks interesting…

 

Edvard Munch

Thanks, nice and hot.  Careful… you’re going to…..

EEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!

 

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

Don’t leave it on the table – I can’t reach it.

 

Tracy Emin

Can you pour most of it out then put the cup over there next to the bed.  That’s right, 

just move the knickers out of the way.

 

Marcel Duchamp

I’ll have a latte in a Large Glass please.  I must just pop to the fountain first.

 

Salvador Dali

If by coffee you mean a naked woman being swallowed by a melting elephant, then yes, I’d love one.

 

Marc Chagall

Not for me thanks – too much caffeine makes me fly off over the rooftops

 

Gustav Klimt

I don’t care what it tastes like, as long as it is in a pretty cup.

 

Georges Seurat

Just a couple of spots of milk for me please.

 
 
LS Lowry

I don’t hold with all this new fangled coffee drinking – I’ll have tea.  I don’t care what anybody else drinks, I’ve always had tea and I always will.  Think on.

 

Piet Mondrian

As long as it really is either black or white, none of this muddy browny crap.  Put it down there on the edge of the table.  A bit further from the corner…not that far….left a bit….14mm further up…oh that’ll do.

 

Julian Schnabel

Skip the coffee, just give me the cup and saucer

 

Norman Rockwell

Put at least eighteen Saccharin tablets in mine or I just can’t swallow it. 

Got anything cheesy to go with it?

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All images and text are copyright of Keith Garrow. They may not be downloaded, modified, altered or sold without the express written permission of the artist.